Pornography addiction is a relatively recent phenomenon, the rise of which is directly attributable to the spread of the internet, high speed access and free content. Whilst it is not strictly speaking a ‘diagnosis’ it can nonetheless be a useful term for describing compulsive and out-of-control use of pornography which can have devastating effects.
Research into this addictive behaviour remains in its infancy, however, increasing numbers of men and women are presenting with psychological, emotional and physical symptoms that have come about as a result of their compulsive use of online pornography.
Statistically men seem to suffer with, and present for therapy seeking support with, compulsive use of pornography more than women. There may be physiological reasons for this, stemming from how the male brain of mammals is primed to seek out new mates with whom to mate. Social factors such as marriage and monogamy can to a large part keep the behaviour associated with this drive in-check. However, on the internet, with every conceivable ‘mate’ available at the click of a button, in every possible sexual situation or constellation, and with it being a secretive experience, compulsive pornography use can easily take the place of real relationships.
Whilst we are all aware there is a real difference between a physical human with whom we can engage sexually and an ‘on-screen’ experience, to our primitive brain – the part of us that just wants to mate – there is no difference. This is what makes high-speed pornography so insidious: you find yourself drawn back to the behaviour time and time again, even though you know it is not ‘real’ as an experience and connection.
Throw into the mix that when we access pornography, we can have ‘sex’ in exactly any way we want, with whomever we want and when we want – we do not have to negotiate and do not have to fear rejection – and the draw becomes ever clearer.
Unlike with alcohol, there are no government guidelines to the ‘safe’ use of pornography and it has become widely accepted as something that many of us in society use – especially young men. However, the effects of compulsively using internet pornography can be mentally as damaging as other addictions and many addicts suffer in silence due to the stigma attached.
Signs you may have an internet porn addiction include:
- Feelings of listlessness after using pornography
- Self-loathing
- Interrupted sleep patterns
- An inability to refrain from accessing pornographic sites
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Suicidal feelings
- Erectile dysfunction – an inability to become aroused by real-life sexual partners
- Relationship/marriage breakdown
- An interest in types and variations of pornography that are beyond your ‘usual’ tastes, or a descent into ever ‘harder’ pornography including illegal pornography.
The latter represents a very real risk to livelihood and personal freedom, as being added to the Sex Offenders Register is a wholly life-changing experience affecting the offender and his or her entire family.
Sex addiction and pornography addiction is treatable and like all other addictions represents a flight from genuine, real connection. As such it is an attachment disorder and therapy is about healing attachment disorders, so that needs can be met in healthier ways in intimate relationships.
How we can help
At Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy, we will work with you from a multi-faceted perspective to deal with this addiction and reclaim your life. This will include harm minimisation; working through shame; learning to bodily and psychologically regulate your emotional state; behavioural changes; and abstinence, if appropriate. We will also enable you to access resources where you can arm yourself with research into this problem and gain support from other sufferers.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is porn addiction?
Whilst not officially recognised as an addiction, problem porn use seems to be on the rise. It is the same as any other addiction in that the porn user is unable to moderate their behaviour and is trapped in the addiction-shame cycle. Relationally, pornography use can have huge implications leading to a lack of sexual intimacy within the relationship. Excessive pornography use is linked to psychological, emotional and physical problems.
How do I know if I have a pornography addiction?
If your use of pornography feels out of control and you notice that you are relying on viewing pornography and masturbation to moderate or manage your feelings then it is likely that your behaviour has become compulsive and you have a pornography addiction.
How can psychotherapy help me with my porn addiction?
Psychotherapy can function as a secure holding relationship; in which the addicted client can learn to feel their feelings rather than ‘acting out’ through using porn. Pornography addiction, like any other addiction, is a type of attachment disorder where past relational trauma has made it too risky for the addict to use healthy relating as a way of modulating their feelings and instead uses a maladaptive behaviour.
Are sex addiction and porn addiction the same thing?
Sex addiction and porn addiction may have some cross-over, however, they are not the same thing. The rise of porn addiction as a disorder is correlated with the rise in high-speed broadband and streaming videos. The effect of viewing scores, perhaps even hundreds of porn videos within a short space of time has powerful implications for the chemistry of our brains and in particular for dopamine release.
What causes a porn addiction?
Increasingly the evidence is showing that addictions are attachment disorders whereby addicts use porn to manage their emotions as they have not learnt how to do this in a healthy way. However, with the rise of internet and online video streaming, people with little or no attachment trauma are being lured into an addictive cycle.
What happens in a first session?
The first session with one of our practitioners is an opportunity for you both to work out whether you feel able to work together. Your psychotherapist or psychologist will likely ask you various questions relating to what has brought you, and explain the process of therapy to you. The first session is a two-way process where you have the opportunity to ask questions and to decide whether you feel ‘safe enough’ working with your therapist.
How do I find a psychotherapist or psychologist I want to work with?
At Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy, we have two physical practices, one in Hove and one in Lewes, where we offer a full range of psychological therapies. On our website you can view each profile of our associates and contact them directly using the form on their profile page. You can also use our handy search function to find the right practitioner for your needs.
How long will it take for me to see a psychologist or psychotherapist?
We aim to respond to all enquiries within twenty-four hours. You may either contact one of our practitioners directly via their profile page, or you can contact us directly and we will assist you in finding the right person to see as soon as possible. If the practitioner you wish to see has space then an appointment can usually be arranged within a week and sometimes much sooner.
Do you offer couples or group sessions?
We offer counselling and psychotherapy for individuals, couples, families and groups. To find out about the types of session we can offer, get in touch with us today. We will find a date and time that works best for everyone involved and we will make sure everyone feels as comfortable as possible.
How can I get in touch with you?
You can contact our practitioners directly via the contact forms on their profile pages. They will then reply to you directly.
What age groups of clients do you work with?
We have psychotherapists and psychologists trained to work with most age groups from children through to adults.
Do you offer evening and/or weekend sessions?
We offer sessions every day of the week including on Saturdays and sessions are available into the evening.
What are your fees?
Our fees are set by each practitioner depending on the type of therapy. For individual psychotherapy or clinical psychology our fees range from £75 – £100 per session. For couple therapy our fees range from £85 – £100 per session.
If you would like to know more about porn addiction or to arrange an initial consultation, please contact us now for a confidential discussion. At Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy, we have two physical practices, one in Hove and one in Lewes, where we offer a full range of psychological therapies. On our website, you can view each profile of our associates and contact them directly using the form on their profile page. You can also use our handy search function to find the right practitioner for your needs.
All the content on this page has been reviewed and vetted by Mark Vahrmeyer UKCP Registered Psychotherapist, Supervisor and Co-Founder of Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy. For any questions or more information about the subjects discussed on this page please contact us.