Marriage counselling is about facilitating communication. Marriage counselling is approached in the same way as couples therapy. However, when navigating challenges in a marriage, we are also mindful of the potential personal, legal, social and cultural implications for couples facing difficulties.
Just like with couples therapy, the key to effective marriage therapy is the motivation and willingness of both parties to work on their relationship together. Whilst it is frequently one party of the marriage who makes the push towards seeking out a relationship therapist, marriage counselling requires both parties agree to start a dialogue together.
Marriage is a serious commitment and yet, paradoxically, some couples feel that once they are married the relationship will look after itself. Having committed to ‘marriage for life’, many fall into the trap of minimising the ongoing effort that is required. This is where marriages can start to unravel.
Our professional counsellors and therapists offer marriage counselling in Brighton from our Hove practice and also across East Sussex from our Lewes practice.
What is marriage counselling?
Marriage counselling is a form of couple’s counselling that focuses on improving communication between spouses and addressing specific issues that are causing problems in the relationship. Therapy is a safe space for couples to open up and talk about how they really feel. This open communication is vital to solving marital problems and coming to a mutual understanding.
Our marriage counsellors are trained to help married couples diagnose their relationship problems and develop practical solutions to help rebuild the trust and communication that may have been lost along the way.
Difference between marriage counselling and couples counselling
Although both couples counselling and marriage counselling have the same aim of helping partners with their specific needs, there are some differences in the goals of each service.
Couples counselling aims to improve communication and deepen the emotional intimacy between partners. It also helps partners develop problem-solving skills so they can work together to resolve conflicts and issues within the relationship.
Marriage counselling, on the other hand, focuses on addressing issues within the marriage and improving the overall health and happiness of the partnership. This may involve identifying and addressing issues that could impact the marriage such as infidelity, trust issues, financial problems, different parenting styles, and much more.
Who is marriage counselling for?
Marriage counselling is for married couples or individuals who want a safe space to explore their feelings and reflect on their relationship patterns. It’s ideal for couples at any point in their marriage, from those who want to deepen their emotional connection to those who are experiencing crises in their relationship.
Issues marriage counselling can help with
Marriage counselling offers couples a chance to examine the issues within their relationship so they can maintain a happy marriage. Here are just some of the issues that marriage counselling can help with:
- Communication issues
- Trust issues or jealousy that are affecting the marriage
- Infidelity
- Major life changes like starting a family, bereavement, redundancy, or infertility
- Financial problems
- Parenting challenges
- Family conflicts
- Losing connection or falling out of love with each other
- Maintaining emotional connection
How can marriage counselling help us?
No two marriages are the same and, for this reason, marriage counselling can be a different experience for different couples. Outcomes are also sometimes unpredictable. However, effective marriage counselling always begins with establishing a productive dialogue between a couple.
By creating a safe enough environment, a marriage counsellor is able to assist the couple in uncovering what they want from the process and, ultimately, from their marriage.
Can marriage counselling help our marriage?
There are significant pressures on modern marriages that, arguably, did not even exist a couple of generations ago. With increased longevity, global mobility, the fragmentation of the nuclear family and huge cultural changes, the cumulative effect places a lot of pressure on marriages.
It’s not uncommon for couples to turn to marriage counselling to help them better navigate the modern world together. Marriage counsellors see a wide range of couples with many different challenges. A professional may be able to facilitate better communication between the two of you and help you devise strategies in order to address and heal problems in your relationship. Whilst some couples may be inclined to solve marital problems themselves, once you are both caught in a dysfunctional loop it is difficult to break the cycle yourselves. Our professional therapists are highly experienced and qualified, not in fixing issues for you, but in creating pathways and the clarity for you to begin to rebuild and strengthen your relationship.
Beyond reducing conflict and learning to understand one another better again, marriage counselling can help you rediscover the joy in your relationship.
Can marriage counselling help us to separate?
Therapists cannot be invested in whether a couple remains together as this would be imposing an objective on the work. However, marriage counselling is a process by which a couple learns to communicate and work through ways to strengthen their relationship. It is inevitable that, through this experience, some couples discover that staying within the marriage is no longer the preferable option.
Reaching or communicating a decision to separate within a relationship therapy space can help to prevent unnecessary conflict. A marriage counsellor can ease the pain and confusion, that often comes in the breakdown of a marriage, by helping the couple better understand one another’s perspectives.
Alongside the personal implications of potentially separating, marriage counselling will consider other factors such as legal, social and cultural, as well as financial factors. Marriages mean very different things to different couples as well as within different cultures and so these issues must all be taken into account.
When a decision to separate has been reached, it may be worth transitioning into divorce and separation therapy so that desired outcomes are clear and understood.
What to expect in marriage counselling
During marriage counselling, you will work with a trained therapist who will help you and your partner identify and address issues in your relationship. You will typically meet on a weekly or fortnightly basis with your clinician for around 50 minutes, however this may be longer depending on the circumstances.
The goal of marriage counselling isn’t necessarily to ‘save’ the relationship, but to work to establish clarity on what each partner wants from the relationship and, ultimately, improve communication.
What successful marriage counselling looks like differs for each couple. Some may find ways to commit and continue their relationship through the work carried out in sessions and at home. In contrast, others may use counselling for the amicable termination of the relationship, which is particularly important in cases where children are involved, and a co-parenting relationship is necessary.
What is a successful outcome to marriage counselling?
We all grow up consuming fairy tales where the prince and princess, or hero and heroine, live ‘happily ever after’. Real life is not a fairy tale – in fact, it’s what happened after the falling in love and choosing to marry. Marriage counselling seeks to facilitate dialogue and to assist the couple in understanding what each of them wants and also what they want as a couple. It is also an environment where the practicalities of staying together, or separating and divorcing, can be considered. For example, where a couple argues and fights consistently in front of their children and this cannot be resolved, then it may be in the best interests of all concerned for them to separate. Conversely, financial limitations can mean that separation from one to two households is not viable without pushing the children and each other into poverty. Additionally, many couples committing to marriage counselling do find ways to improve their communication and relationship and manage to redefine their marriage.
Areas we cover
Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy has practices in Brighton and Lewes which are easily accessible even if you’re not from these particular areas or East Sussex as a whole. We offer our marriage counselling sessions to anyone in the UK, so if you’re not local and can’t travel, we can also offer online sessions.
Our marriage counselling therapists Brighton and Lewes
We have a team of highly trained and skilled marriage counsellors who are dedicated to helping couples navigate their marriage. If you’re interested in finding out more about our team, use our practitioner search to find out more about each practitioner, including their background, education, and how they can help.
Why choose Brighton and Hove psychotherapy?
At Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy, we have a wealth of experience in helping married couples strengthen their relationship and navigate the challenges that present. Each of our therapists strives to create a welcoming, safe environment where couples can open up and address their issues freely. Being a short distance from the train stations, we are easily accessible to those who live outside of Brighton and Lewes.
Whether you are seeking marriage counselling or wish to work through your relationship issues as an individual, our psychotherapists can support you in exploring any issues in your marriage.
We offer marriage counselling in Brighton from our practices in Lewes and Hove and have clients from right across Sussex as well as London and further afield. To find out about the help Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy can offer get in touch with us today.
In addition to marriage therapy, Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy offers couples therapy, family therapy and divorce and separation therapy.
Frequently Asked Questions
Who can benefit from marriage counselling?
Any married couple who is facing communication problems, trust issues, or conflict, or who simply want to strengthen their relationship can benefit from marriage counselling.
How long does marriage counselling take?
The length of your counselling will depend on the issues you are facing and what you want to get out of the therapy. Some couples will benefit from short-term counselling whereas others may require long-term or ongoing sessions.
Will the therapist take sides?
No, our therapists will always remain a neutral party in order to help partners understand each other better and work together to make positive changes.
Is marriage counselling only for relationships that are in crisis?
Although marriage counselling is known for helping couples in crisis, it’s also for any couple who wants to strengthen their relationship, work on differences in communication styles, and address any minor issues before they escalate.
Will counselling save my marriage?
With marriage counselling, nothing is guaranteed. However, success is largely dependent on both partners’ efforts and desires to save the marriage.
What if me and my partner have different goals for counselling?
It’s completely normal to want different things out of marriage counselling. Your therapist will work with you both to align your goals and address individual concerns.
All the content on this page has been reviewed and vetted by Sam Jahara Transactional Analysis Psychotherapist, Supervisor and Co-Founder of Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy. For any questions or more information about the subjects discussed on this page please contact us.