One hand handing a paper heart to another hand.

Masochism and the impossibility of desire

Masochism is perhaps one of the most misunderstood clinical structures in psychoanalytic psychotherapy. It has been removed from the DSM for largely political reasons and has thus disappeared from the psychological lexicon. It is a term that is conflated with victimhood, reactivity, or submission; however, its true meaning as a personality style is more complex….

A smart phone screen.

Dissociative identity disorder: A rare trauma response, not a social trend

In recent years, Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) has become a trending topic on social media, particularly on platforms like TikTok. Short-form videos often depict individuals rapidly switching between so-called “alters,” complete with visual and behavioural cues. The implication—sometimes explicit, often subtle—is that these portrayals are representative of DID. They are not. Clinically, DID remains one…

A robot finger touching a human finger.

Can AI offer therapy?

There is currently a great deal of noise and speculation about whether artificial intelligence (AI) can provide therapy. There are strong advocates on both sides of the argument, and evidence would suggest that, at least to some degree, AI can provide what some describe as ‘therapy’. The NHS, in part driven by its chronic funding…

A single wooden chair standing in a dark room.

Why staying in your chair is the key to being a good psychotherapist

When working with trainees and supervisees, I frequently refer to the need for a psychotherapist to ‘stay in their chair’. Let me explain. Psychotherapy is a relationship. It is a very intimate and unique relationship between the clinician and their patient, which is principally about the needs of the patient. This, however, does not mean…

The face of a woman sleeping.

What do dreams mean?

We all dream – whether we remember them or not. And there is plenty of fascination about dreams and what they may mean, ranging from nothing at all, to being a means and method of understanding a patient’s unconscious. In 1899, Sigmund Freud wrote The Interpretation of Dreams outlining his theory of the unconscious and…

A hand holding a lit sparkler.

Is starting psychotherapy a good New Year’s resolution?

Most of us make some sort of New Year’s resolution, whether overtly or covertly. The new year can feel like an opportunity to put the past behind us and to start afresh. Whether or not we actively name and own our New Year’s resolutions, most of us can also attest to the best held intentions…

Christmas decorations.

Twixtmas – surviving that dreaded time between Christmas and New Year

Twixtmas, that time between Christmas and New Year seems to be a particularly difficult time for many. Why is this? The build up to Christmas and the accompanying excitement for some, and anxiety for many, can leave us feeling depleted and down in the immediate aftermath of the big day. Perhaps a lot of why…

A Christmas tree with decoration.

How to minimise Christmas stress if you’re hosting

Christmas can be an emotionally challenging and difficult time for many of us. There is such expectation on how Christmas ‘should’ be, yet like the weather, it often fails to deliver on the ‘winter wonderland’ scenes on the TV adverts. For so many of us our family experience often falls far short of the loving…

A person on top of a hill raising their arms to the sky.

How do you get self-esteem?

Self-esteem is often spoken about and seen as something that we should be aspiring towards. However, what is less clear is exactly what constitutes ‘self-esteem’ and how we can best define this concept. What is self-esteem? Well, according to Jordan Peterson it simply does not exist. However, he is in the minority with this. Whilst…

A diary.

Why is psychotherapy generally weekly?

All forms of psychotherapy, from the classically analytical, through to humanistic, evolved from psychoanalysis and thus Freud. The cadence of psychoanalysis has changed very little over the years, with sessions taking place between three and five times per week, generally at the same time each day. Psychotherapy evolved directly from analysis but is also quite…

A teenage girl jumping for joy in an abandoned building.

What’s the difference between spontaneity and impulsivity?

On the face of it, these two words seem to have similar meanings, however, spontaneity is generally deemed a positive attribute whilst impulsivity a negative one. Why is this? If we check how the dictionary defines the act of being spontaneous, it suggests that it is an adjective used to describe someone given to acting…

A man holding his glasses in one hand and his face in the other hand.

Why we should be disappointed

Life is disappointing. That sounds terribly negative, however, being able to tolerate and work with this reality can make the difference between success and failure. Relationships are also disappointing, but, like life, they are many other things too. Let’s delve into it. Being able to tolerate and work with disappointment is one of the hallmarks…