Are you curious to know the most popular song in the world right now? Of course, you might not have been able to miss it.This autumn, a musical milestone was achieved by Taylor Swift, who has become the first musician to claim all ten top slots of the US Billboard Top 100. Of her ten conquering … [Read more...]
Why do people watch horror movies?
Horror as a genre of ‘entertainment’ has, I would suggest, always been a part of the human experience, as it is through this collective narrative that we give shape and form to a world in which we have very little control. Long before movies existed and extending back to before the written word, our … [Read more...]
Is starting psychotherapy a good New Year’s Resolution?
Most of us make some sort of New Year’s resolution, whether overtly or covertly. The new year can feel like an opportunity to put the past behind us and to start afresh.Whether or not we actively name and own our New Year’s resolutions, most of us can also attest to the best held intentions for … [Read more...]
New Year’s Resolutions – why change might be so difficult
The start of a new year feels like a good time to make resolutions to change your life. Cut down on drinking, learn something new, be more efficient, be kinder, be more sociable or get fit.Gym memberships regularly peak in January, increasing by 10%-20% but how many of those new memberships are … [Read more...]
On Living as Becoming (Part One)
Who would have known a recent visit to Alexandria Park in Hastings and a guided tree walk would inspire this work in progress. The Park happens to have a very diverse and nationally significant tree collection planted by Robert Manock in 1882, and subsequent others.Much of what was conveyed was … [Read more...]
Five Top Tips for Surviving Christmas Day
Christmas can be an emotionally challenging and difficult time for many of us. There is such expectation on how Christmas ‘should’ be. Yet like the weather fails to deliver on the ‘winter wonderland’ scenes on the TV adverts, for many of us, our family experience often falls far short of the loving … [Read more...]
How to Minimise Christmas Stress if you’re Hosting
Christmas can be an emotionally challenging and difficult time for many of us. There is such expectation on how Christmas ‘should’ be, yet like the weather, it often fails to deliver on the ‘winter wonderland’ scenes on the TV adverts. For so many of us our family experience often falls far short … [Read more...]
As I Walked Out One Evening
Some years ago, I was given a card that quoted the second and third verse of Auden’s poem, 'As I walked out one evening'. It was wonderful, the idea that someone could be loved until two continents met across the Pacific Ocean. What a romantic notion.For many of us, when we fall in love we feel … [Read more...]
Online versus In-Person Therapy
When Covid struck we could no longer deliver therapy face-to-face and so this meant that many of us had to adjust to therapy online using a video web platform such as Microsoft Teams or Zoom. This was both challenging for the therapist and the client, however many people now prefer therapy … [Read more...]
In Support of Being Average
Ask yourself if you would like to be described as being ‘average’ and it might not be your first choice. Average might feel like a vague insult, a reflection on yourself that you’d rather not have. When we use the term ‘average’ we don’t see much that is positive about it.What is … [Read more...]
What does Couple Counselling do?
At a fundamental level, couple counselling provides an opportunity for a couple to explore their relationship with a therapist who facilitates the exploration. Couples have said to me that they really value the dedicated time, space and support to talk about feelings and difficulties that don’t feel … [Read more...]
Understanding Feelings of Guilt
Guilt can be a particularly tortuous feeling and, for some, a chronic state of mind. Below, I will think about different aspects of this complicated emotion.Origins of GuiltFor Melanie Klein (1), guilt is part of a small child’s normal development, when they realise that they can hate and … [Read more...]
Can Couples Counselling Fix a Relationship?
Most people enter into couples counselling when their relationship has got problems. These problems can take the form of a crisis, such as an affair, or be more chronic, such as a loss of intimacy between a couple over a long period of time.What does it mean to ‘fix’ a relationship? The word … [Read more...]
Collective Grief
Recent Events: The Death of Queen Elizabeth and COVIDThe recent death of Queen Elizabeth has drawn people together in grief in a ways both individual and shared. Having been Queen and a globally public figure for 70 years, her death felt like the loss of what had been a constant and stable … [Read more...]
When do you need Couples Counselling?
It is not so long ago that couples would have needed to be on the point of permanent separation before they would consider any type of counselling for themselves. If they did decide to embark on such a course, it might well be done as a last-ditch attempt to save things, often within the context of … [Read more...]