During Brexit, there was a lot of talk about how it divided our country. So we thought we would discuss how humans are divided and how Psychotherapy can ease some of the conflicts we have with ourselves and others. A personal ‘split’ can happen when we think or act in a way that doesn’t align with … [Read more...]
A Couple State of Mind
This is the first in a series of blog posts about couples therapy. In this post I want to talk about what Mary Morgan from Tavistock Relationships calls a ‘couple state of mind’.Why if our partner is ‘right’ for us don’t they understand us completely? There are limits to how much we can ever … [Read more...]
The Pain of Decision-Making
Our decisions navigate us through, and throughout, our lives. This blog is not intended to be a comprehensive explanation about decision making, neither is it a guide for how to make better decisions. I simply offer some thoughts about what I see as some of the reasons that decision-making can feel … [Read more...]
How Psychotherapy Taught me to Live Life
This piece is written by a 'fictional' client who is a composite of three real-life clients who have shared their experience of psychotherapy with me. Some details have been changed to ensure confidentiality, however, the thoughts feeling and experiences expressed are those of three very real … [Read more...]
Finding Intent in Criticism in Couple Communication
Cultural context We are at a particular moment in our cultural and political narratives of relationship and identity where democracy itself seems under threat.The assertion in some spheres of the perceived “right” to not be offended is at odds with the right (principle) of free speech in which … [Read more...]
So what exactly is Mindfulness?
The term ‘mindfulness’ is much spoken about these days, especially in relation to mental health and wellbeing. But what does it really mean? Mindfulness generally relates to a meditation practice that has its origins in Buddhism. It is thought that the Buddha was practicing mindfulness when he … [Read more...]
‘Where Should I Start?’ – On the flow of a psychotherapy session
Starting psychotherapy can be a daunting prospect. Researching the right psychotherapist; making contact; booking the appointment; finding the practice; waiting in the waiting room; and then.... you are invited in.You enter and sit down. Water is on the table. Perhaps you help yourself as you … [Read more...]
We want you – join our team!
Thank to ever increasing demand for our services, we are now looking to expand our in-house team of associates as well as set up a wider network of trusted psychotherapists we can refer to.Established in 2008 and re-branded in 2014, Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy is a practice offering … [Read more...]
Are criticism and anger good or bad for a happy relationship?
Studies of happy marriages find that anger and criticism are expressed rather than repressed. However the way that they are expressed matters.Most of us are uncomfortable with expressing anger and being critical. Anger and criticism generate rejection and everyone hates rejection. More often … [Read more...]
Adolescence: the trials and tribulations
In this blog, I want to briefly outline some of the reasons I like working with adolescents and what are perhaps some of the key struggles faced by adolescents, their carers' and those who work with or alongside them.One of the most famous depictions of adolescents’ in my memory is probably … [Read more...]
Crisis of Meaning
We live in a complex world which, for the most part, seems to demand that we achieve certain things to ‘be someone’ and have a successful and happy life. These ‘certain things’ are the obvious trappings of society - having a good education, getting that well-paid job or rewarding career, finding … [Read more...]
Group Psychotherapy: The Octopus and The Group – what do they have in common?
On my way into work the other day I happened to be listening to the radio when a program called “Inside Science” was playing. The theme for the program was “Alien Minds”. A man called Peter Godfery–Smith was talking about his book “Other Minds”. He described how we assume the existence of a … [Read more...]
Does the male mid-life crisis exist?
The Man’o’Pause Much has been depicted of the male ‘mid life crisis, most of it mocking. However in my experience as a Psychotherapist, I wholly agree with author Marian Keyes, who notes, “no one really goes through a midlife crisis without experiencing real despair, real fear and real … [Read more...]
What is loneliness?
Loneliness is an experience that people coming into psychotherapy often talk about struggling with. It is an uncomfortable and often painful state and usually linked with feelings of sadness, loss and emptiness.But maybe loneliness isn’t necessarily just a bad experience. Below, I will explore … [Read more...]
What is Integrative Psychotherapy? – An interview with Mark Vahrmeyer (Part 3) – VLOG
Recently Dr Simon Cassar interviewed integrative psychotherapist and co-founder of Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy Mark Vahrmeyer on the question of 'What is Integrative Psychotherapy. This is the last in a three-part interview where Mark explains the difference between integration and eclecticism, … [Read more...]